yay religion!

I don't talk about religion here much because I don't usually have a lot to say to a wide* audience, but I read something tonight that I want to process.

I've been reading Mindy Kaling's book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me and somewhat enjoying it (about as much as I enjoyed Tina Fey's book, which was kind of interesting but felt really slapped together). I have a lot of nonfiction good-for-your-brain books but they suck when you want to relax. Anyway, tonight I read this excerpt:

"From now on, let's all agree that hooking up = sex.** Everything else is "made out." And if you're older than 28 then just kissing someone doesn't count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you're Mormon, in which case you're going to hell."

First thought: is that funny? I mean, I like telling people they're going to hell, but always to people I know and always for benign things like forgetting my birthday because it's funny and not at all serious. Reading those words on a page from a stranger changes the dynamic, though. The following was my thought process: Does Mindy Kaling actually think I'm going to hell (if she's Baptist, the answer is yes). Not that I care, because I'm either not going to hell since the God that I believe in does not send people to hell for getting their faith wrong, or Mindy is right and I am going to hell and that's ok because I couldn't abide with a God who denies people the knowledge of how to avoid hell and sends them there anyway. Since this is a funny book, I will assume it's a joke that didn't work on me and move on.

Second excerpt: [She defines Irish exit and French exit] "Um, I may have found these on kind of a xenophobic website. Makes me wonder about Jewish exits or Black exits. Okay, thin ice. Too far."

Oh, ok, so making fun of Mormons is cool, but Jews and black people are off-limits? Why? Which of the following sentences makes you more uncomfortable:
1. Unless you're Mormon, in which case you're going to hell.
2. Unless you're Jewish, in which case you're going to hell.
3. Unless you're black, in which case you're going to hell.

For me, it's all three. For a lot of people, I suspect it's only the last two. Why? Is it because of the icky history of racism/bigotry against both populations (Mormons also have a history of persecution, but it's less widely known). Are blacks and Jews more vocal about being upset when people say dumb things about them than Mormons are? We are sort of a roll-over-and-take-it people, which draws less attention, both to the issue and to the individual and institution. Besides people who participate in the Mormon.org campaign to convince everyone that We Walk Among You And Are Totally Normal, I think most of us want to be left alone about our religion. I'd like to be recognized for who I am as an individual, not what religion I subscribe to (although it's true that for most of us, the religion significantly impacts who we are).

So maybe I never figured out whether the comment about my eternal soul was benign or not. At this point I don't really care anymore, either. I would like to see a culture emerge where a person would substitute Jewish for Mormon in any sentence before they said it and check to see if it made them feel a little gross before proceeding with the sentence. I'd also like to see a culture emerge where people who believe in God aren't automatically dismissed as homophobic bigots and opinions about who goes to hell are kept to oneself***.

I'd also like to see a culture where corporations aren't people, pensions can't be absorbed into newly acquired companies as assets, government bailout money doesn't go toward executive bonuses, and every dime of taxpayer money is tabulated and accounted for in a publicly accessible forum.

As my grandfather used to say, folks in hell want ice water, too.

*Hi mom.
** Seriously.
*** Unless you forget my birthday, then feel my wrath.